My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
