I wish I only lived at night.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
