we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I lost the right to judge tonight
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
