there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
