is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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