if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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