So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
