i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
