i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
