Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
