do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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