your thong is hanging out like whoa
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
