I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
