I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's Friday. Sex?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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