this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
