im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
