sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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