So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
