he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
