Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
