I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
