don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
