why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
