Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
