Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
