i think my mom watched the whole time
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
