Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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