And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
