he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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