Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
