Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We smell like vodka and hangover
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