he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
