Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
