i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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