we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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