It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
