so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
