Slut skills are useful in every country.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
