i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
