You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
