"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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