k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
