I'm gonna have a badass scar
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize