I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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