Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
