he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
