I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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