Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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