R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My cat gives me a boner
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
