just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
