After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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