is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
