Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
